Pride -- swallowed, again.

The calendar today had this quote for me:

"I am constantly creating more good in my life."

Well, I must admit I did create good for myself by putting my pride -- as well as my crutches -- aside for a day, and I brought my doctor-prescribed KNEE SCOOTER to work today:

For the last five weeks, I have been dragging my crutches to work, and hopped up, down, and all around at work.   I do a lot of walking at work, and although it is undeniable that the knee scooter relieves a lot of stress on my good leg, not to mention my arms, armpits, shoulders, and hands from the crutches, I was resistant to using it at work.

I was stubborn.

Why? I've been through this before.

Six months ago, July 2012, we took a trip to WALT DISNEY WORLD.  I was in the midst of my recovery from my first stress fracture, and by this point I had been on crutches for two months.  No way am I going to trek around the parks on an electic scooter, I said.  I was going to crutch around.

Well, I came to my senses and, needless to say, with the encouragement of my family and friends (and online forum advice as well), I made the right decision and rented an ECV, an electric scooter (thanks walkermobility.com).

(credit to http://mobility-scooters.findthebest.com)

 I must say, that out of 20-30 trips that I have made to the World, this was easily in the top 5.  Once the male, feeling-healthy, 30-something proud me got over the fact that I was injured, and stopped caring about the looks I was getting (or was it looks I *thought* I was getting), being on that electric scooter was so freeing.  It was relaxing, I was relaxed, I got to enjoy the parks with my family without really slowing them down ... and if I was slow, well, hey, I finally got to really experience the parks, the atmosphere, and appreciate the little details. 

I lived in the NOW.

And as a wonderful side effect, the physical rest that the scooter provided, as well as the spiritual and mental relaxation and positivity that was generated, actually helped me to heal. (It didn't hurt that I was at Walt Disney World, see my post on The Healing Power of Disney).

(credit to tradingphrases.com)

(I believe in Pixie Dust, so sue me).

So.  I was resistant to using a scooter six months ago, but I got one, and realized it was a great decision.  So why was I so stubborn now?  Perhaps because I knew it would be at work, not vacation, and ... I don't know.  Self-conscious?  I can't rationalize it, because last week I was more comfortable bringing attention to myself on crutches ... but I also brought pain.

Today, on my knee scooter, I felt free.  Again, once I got over the fact that people were looking at it (in amazement, perplexed perhaps, of why I was riding a "bike" to work?), well it was actually fun ... as fun as work can be anyway.  Definitely a conversation piece, to be honest stopping for all the conversations about it negated the speed factor.

But in any case, the most significant part of the day was when I stepped into my car to go home.  (After maneuvering the scooter somehow into my trunk, balancing precariously on one foot).

I sat in my driver's seat -- sat, not slumped -- and felt good.  Not tired.  Not physically tired anyway.  Mind you today was a busy day at work, but I still had energy left at the end of the day.

I swallowed my pride, brushed my stubbornness and ego aside, and got something in return -- comfort, energy, efficiency,  power.  And no pain!

How can I translate this to life?  No, that's too broad, philosophical, and profound ... how can I translate this to running?

Then it hit me: JEFF GALLOWAY'S RUN-WALK METHOD.

Simply stated, Olympian (and official runDisney consultant) Jeff Galloway promotes walk breaks during running. Basically in any run-walk ratio, e.g. 4 min run, 1 min walk ratio, or 1:1, or whatever.  The idea is that these short walk breaks will help you recover during running, reduce injury, and let you finish strong.

There is a lot of controversy (at least online) about Jeff Galloway's method, whether it even helps your time, or perhaps just breaks your running rhythm, and there is even some animosity among some runners towards the so-called Gallowalkers, who in some peoples' minds can not say they "ran" a marathon if they took walk breaks.  Cheating, perhaps?

My view was this -- I would never look down on anyone who took walk breaks, heck, you can walk an entire marathon and in my opinion if you finished it within the specified time then yes you can say you completed a marathon.  "Ran" a marathon?  Not really.  The thing is, part of me would not be satisfied if I personally took walk breaks.  That was the thrill I got from running, from the runs, from the distance accomplished ... that feeling after a good long run and thinking, "wow, I RAN that entire distance without stopping!"  That's what kept me going.

But maybe I should swallow my pride when it comes to running.

When (not IF, WHEN) I get back to running ... perhaps I should incorporate walk breaks into my running.  Perhaps after a run with walk breaks I will feel just as I did when I used my electric scooter in July and when I used my knee scooter today -- perhaps I will have more energy, more comfort, more effiency, more power, less pain.

Something for me to think about.  

I want to run an official half marathon, and official full marathon, and the Goofy Challenge.  And yes I'll admit it, I want the medals.

But I want to earn them.  I want to feel proud of them.  Proud of myself.

And that's what I will work on.  I must brush aside my pride and ego, or maybe even expand my ego, and really get to a point where I'm comfortable in saying, "yes, I walked part of this race, and yes I am proud I finished it."

If I'm being honest, at this exact second I'm not there yet.  My goal is to RUN the Goofy challenge, nonstop.

I am a still a work in progress in so many ways.