What Hurts The Most

I know others have much more serious medical ailments than I do, but this stress fracture has caused me to undergo a wide range of emotions, especially over the past few days. But basically, it comes down to this:

It hurts more NOT to run than it hurts to run.

The weather's getting nicer, and every day on the way to and from work I see runner's on the road, and around the reservoir near our house. I wish I was out there. It felt so good to run. And I was so happy to have found a physical activity that I loved.

I was feeling much better last week, i actually got myself off crutches for a few days. (under the advice of my orthopedic surgeon, of course, to play it by ear and try weight bearing). I was limping, and my groing would hurt after a bit of longish walking, but there was no way I would bring my crutchea to work.

By Saturday, at work, (which requires a lot of walking and a lot of standing), I was hurting. I could do this, I thought, just some positive thinking, it's fine. No problem. But I had to be honest with myself. I ran into my orthopedic surgeon's partner in the hall, who suggested I get back on crutches.

So I swallowed my pride, ran home to get one crutch ... And it was the best decision ever.

So I've been using one crutch at work for the past couple of days. I've had a same conversation a million times a day ... "yeah, stress fracture... femoral neck... Yeah running... No I didn't fall... Yeah it hurt more so I'm back on crutches."

And invariably, the others' comment is,
"well, I guess no more running for you!"

No.

I swallowed my pride, accepted my pain, and realize the need for healing and recovery, but that's one thing I will not accept.

I am a runner.
I will run again.
I will run the Atlantic City Half Marathon in October 2012.
I will run the Walt Disney World Marathon in January 2013.
I will run the Walt Disney World Goofy Challenge in January 2014.